why....

she walks through the hall. thin, beautiful, and smart. everyone looks at her as she walks past, i walk up the stairs, tall and not super thin, i trip up the stairs. i look at my phone: no new messages. i wear the same brands as her, why dont people look at me. i dont have her elegance. in class i am unfocused and sometimes confused. sometimes i am the super smart one, instead of people liking that, they think i am weird. i say something but it comes out dumb. on the occasion that i actually speak up. i think of them and feel anger that they left me like this. what did i ever do. i am not nearly as skinny as her - i think to myself as she passes me. i go to my locker and awkwardly stand at it until the bell rings. group project in class, i work alone, everyone already has their friends. and i never had that. i never had that best friend. the ones i see and wish i had. my mom tells me that i am being unrealistic. but i see it everyday. and i wonder why i am the odd one out. why did they have to leave me so broken, as they think they did nothing. why was i the target. why cant i be skinny, why cant i have so many text messages all the time, why do i have to be awkward and never knowing how to act towards somethings.... why cant i have answers